It’s been almost a year since I’ve managed to take a self portrait. Going through this year- the pandemic, the joblessness, the homelessness, the fire, losing unemployment, losing family, the sheer and utter shattering sensation of major life changing heart break… simply being- taking another breath in and another breath out is an act of vulnerability. Whatever sense of self I had left, I had to keep for myself. I had nothing to spare to share with the camera, to share with the world. And honestly, I still feel overwhelmed with the changes this past year has put me through, both on a personal and collective level. I still don’t feel ready to share. My body isn’t what I’m used to. My home isn’t what I’m used to. My career isn’t what I’m used to. My interactions with other humans isn’t what I’m used to. It’s not something I want to force myself to see. It’s not even something that I want to document and remember. But life continues marching forward, and so I’m dipping my toes back in. I’m giving as much as I can bare to give without crumbling into a million pieces or melting into a puddle of tears. This is what I have to give. I hope it can bring some inspiration to the world- some hope of things getting better. I know we could all use some of that.
This was a strange shoot for me. I broke my most steadfast rule when it comes to photography: I cut my toes off. I have been known to refuse to work with photographers who cut my toes off. It’s the biggest pet peeve of mine. In this moment, I don’t have enough energy to care. I hope you can excuse this. I’ll do better next time. The colorful sugar is another strange element. I don’t eat sugar because it makes my chronic pain so much worse, but for some reason, colorful sugar seems like just the right visual medicine for the moment. (And yes I made a huge sugary mess on my bedroom floor while making this photography set.) I hope you can find the sweetness in this work. And I hope, more importantly, that you are able to find the sweetness in life.
I’ve included some extra nipple-friendly, sugar-free and behind the scenes images from this set on my Patreon page. Subscribe to see all the goodies ? www.patreon.com/sargenti
Prints available for purchase upon request
Taken on iPhone 12. New Orleans, LA.